<\/p>\n
<\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/5lwI7wBnp7zvT0lGifrb98?utm_source=generator\" width=\"100%\" height=\"352\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Angela (52) and Brian (52) have been together since they were teenagers and have raised four kids.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Now as empty nesters, they\u2019re stuck in a sitcom-style standoff: Angela loves bargain shopping and dreams of traveling the world, but Brian clings to a decades-old belief that they need $1 million to retire and panics over every pantry purchase. Their net worth proves that they\u2019re actually financially stable\u2014but Brian can\u2019t shake the fear of not having enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Can Ramit help them rewrite their roles, align on what retirement really looks like, and find connection beyond coupons and control?<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Turinys:<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/episode-219-hes-so-cheap-its-killing-our-joy\/#In_this_episode_we_uncover\" >In this episode we uncover:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/episode-219-hes-so-cheap-its-killing-our-joy\/#Chapters\" >Chapters:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/episode-219-hes-so-cheap-its-killing-our-joy\/#This_episode_is_brought_to_you_by\" >This episode is brought to you by:<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/episode-219-hes-so-cheap-its-killing-our-joy\/#Links_mentioned_in_this_episode\" >Links mentioned in this episode\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/episode-219-hes-so-cheap-its-killing-our-joy\/#Transcript\" >Transcript\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"In_this_episode_we_uncover\"><\/span><b>In this episode we uncover:<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Why Angela believes they\u2019re ready to retire\u2014and why Brian is convinced they\u2019re still broke.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">The decades-old advice Brian can\u2019t shake\u2014and how it\u2019s been quietly dictating their entire financial life.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">The performance dynamic they\u2019ve fallen into\u2014and how it\u2019s masking deeper emotional needs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">The stark difference in how they define a \u201cRich Life\u201d\u2014and what\u2019s missing from both visions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">How Angela uses frugality to feel responsible\u2014and the cost of that invisible labor.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">The moment Brian saw their actual net worth, and why it didn\u2019t change how he feels.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">What happens when couples keep score with their sacrifices\u2014and how it erodes connection.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 300;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">How fear of losing control is stopping Brian from building the life he actually wants.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Chapters\"><\/span><b>Chapters:<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(00:00:00) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">\u201cI\u2019ve been chasing that number since I was 18\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(00:04:11)<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">The emotional cost of saying no to everything<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(00:19:08)<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Ramit breaks down their numbers<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">00:29:21<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">\u201cWhy do we need eight jars of peanut butter?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">00:40:57<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Trapped in the \u201cjustifier\u201d and \u201cdecider\u201d roles<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">00:50:34<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Frugal lives, empty spaces<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">00:58:01<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">\u201cI think we\u2019ve just kind of\u2026 drifted\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">01:06:04<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">How much is enough to retire\u2014and what would make us feel safe?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">01:18:42<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">) <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Where are they now? Angela and Brian\u2019s follow-ups<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"This_episode_is_brought_to_you_by\"><\/span><b>This episode is brought to you by:<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. Get yours at <\/span><strong>https:\/\/drinklmnt.com\/RAMIT<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Leesa | Go to <\/span><strong>https:\/\/leesa.com<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\"> for 25% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Upwork | Visit <\/span><strong>https:\/\/upwork.com\/save<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\"> to get a $200 credit to put towards your next freelancer to help grow your business.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at <\/span><strong>https:\/\/shopify.com\/ramit<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to <\/span><strong>https:\/\/facet.com\/ramit<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\"> to learn more about which membership option is best for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Links_mentioned_in_this_episode\"><\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Links mentioned in this episode<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"134245418":true,"134245529":true,"201341983":0,"335559685":0,"335559737":450,"335559738":0,"335559739":0,"335559740":768}\">\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 300;\">Get tickets for my next live events\u2014September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles\u2014at iwt.com\/events<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Transcript\"><\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Transcript<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"134245418":true,"134245529":true,"201341983":0,"335559685":2010,"335559737":2010,"335559738":375,"335559739":375,"335559740":768}\">\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Download the full transcript PDF<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335559685":2010,"335559737":2010,"335559738":150,"335559739":150}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We’re living too little of a life, is the problem. He just says no all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I just cringe. It’s not about her, it’s about the spending the money, going out. I don’t want the experience. I don’t need it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0One of my hobbies is also bargain shopping, and it drives him crazy. So he’ll say, „Why do we need eight jars of peanut butter?” And I’ll say, „Because they were a $1.99. So I’m actually saving us money.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How often do you talk about this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Almost every day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Every day almost. Every day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why are we wasting money on ridiculous food that no one eats?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So finally we went, and we had a really good time. And then when we left, he said, „Okay, that’s off your bucket list now, right? Check. Mark that off.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What was with that comment?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Stop adding things to your list of things to go out and spend money on. I need to control, and that’s what it comes down to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Listen to this line from their application.\u00a0„I just worry that life is passing us by, and we can be doing and spending more on life. We never eat out. Vacations are once a year. He always thinks we are poor. I need someone to tell him that we are okay money-wise, so he can live life before it’s too late.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:01:22)\u00a0Today I am speaking with Angela and Brian. They’re both 52 years old. They’ve been together since they were in high school,\u00a0and they’ve been married for 28 years. They’ve raised four children together,\u00a0and soon they will be empty nesters. Right now money is pulling them apart. Angela is saying,\u00a0„Is this all life is\u00a0going to\u00a0be?”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:01:43)\u00a0Now let’s look at the numbers on their conscious spending plan or\u00a0CSP. You can download your own copy of the CSP for free at iwt.com\/csp. It’s the exact tool I use in every episode.\u00a0Income,\u00a0$188,000.\u00a0Assets, 961,000. Investments,\u00a0890,000.\u00a0Debt, 294,000.\u00a0Total net worth, 1.57 million. Fixed costs,\u00a072%. Investments, 35%. Okay. At 52,\u00a0we have some good progress here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:21)\u00a0They’re investing aggressively. They’ve built real wealth, but 72% on fixed costs is a red flag, especially at their ages. I imagine they are feeling very tight with money, and it also sounds like Angela’s ready to enjoy life, but Brian thinks they are broke, which looking at their numbers, that is clearly not the case.\u00a0I have a lot of questions. Let’s get into it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Interview)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Angela, in your application you wrote, „I think we are totally fine and can retire in five years. He thinks if we don’t have 50 grand in the bank, we can never retire.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0True.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Tell me about that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I know our money. I know what we spend. We’re very frugal. And I just want to start living life a little bit more now, where Brian on the other hand worries about every single penny and I think feels like we need to have a billion dollars before we can retire. So my fear is that he’ll be working till he is 80, and I’m ready to retire when I’m 55.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:03:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it a billion or $50,000 exactly?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:03:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Probably both combined $1,000,050,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:03:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How do you feel hearing the application that Angela wrote?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:03:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know what the magic number is. So in my mind, I have no concept of what I need to live whatever life it’s going to be. And I don’t even know what that looks like. You talk about the Rich Life. I’ve been going through it all week in my mind. What’s my Rich Life? I have no idea. And I’m trying to get grips on that to figure out what I need to say, „Okay, I’m done, or I’m going to work part-time or whatever.” I have no concept of this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:03:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it a number?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Years ago my father-in-law said, „We need a million dollars to retire.” I don’t even know where that number came from. I’m still trying to figure that out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Have you believed that number?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I have believed that number since he told me probably when I was 18. I’ve been dating her since I’ve been 17, 18.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So many, many years ago when you first met, you heard your father-in-law say, „We need a million dollars to retire.” And so you took that to heart as an 18-year-old?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I did.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Let’s talk about where you are today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What is your current retirement plan?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We have a lot. We both fully fund our Roth IRA. I have 403(b) because I’m a teacher. I also have a pension. And then Brian has a 401(k).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Do you know your numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow. Okay. I love that confidence. Amazing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I just cried the other day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is that true?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:04:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I teared inside because it had lost 50,000. I didn’t even want to look at it because I knew with the market, it was just crashing. I’m like, „I can’t do it.” I only looked at it because we had to prepare for this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why do you think you both see retirement differently?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think she feels that we’re at a comfortable place financially right now or our plan going forward. I don’t see that. I think we just need more. I wish I would’ve started much earlier. Obviously, you can’t get that time back, so we’re just trying to max out what we can now. But I just think I need to keep working until I feel we’re ready, I guess, in my mind. And she’s ready sooner than–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We’re living too little of a life, is the problem. We really are not spending any money. We just don’t spend money. We tried to talk about when the last time we went out to eat, and I think it was two years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is that right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Where’d you go?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:05:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a03rd & Ferry, just a little restaurant that had fun seafood specials. We had a day off of work, and we went a Wednesday afternoon for lunch.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No occasion. Just you both had the day off?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I probably begged him to go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What was that like?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It was really fun. We enjoyed ourself. We enjoyed the lunch. We walked around the little town afterwards. We said, „We’re going to do this more often.” And it was probably two years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What happened from that day till now? Why have you not gone out to eat?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0He just says no all the time. We have food here at home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Paint the picture. I have to hear this conversation. So do you bring up going out to eat?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0All the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Walk me through. Let’s recreate the last conversation you had.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I said the other day, the melting pot has this special where we can do half price fondue. That would be really fun. Do you want to do that one night?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Definitely not. I have no interest in going out all–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0But it will be fun, and it’s half price.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:06:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Like I said, she has a short bucket list, or a long bucket list of things she likes to accomplish, whatever it may be. Restaurants being one of them. I have been out recently. I’ll take my kids out to Chinese buffet for their birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s one-on-one time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How come you take your kids out but not your wife out?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0He feels like it’s a requirement probably, for their birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel like I owe them something. Okay, this is part of your birthday gift, so to speak. And they enjoy going out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Pick a meal. Where are we going to go?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That kind of thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Just wait. You feel like you owe your kids something for their birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Right, right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. What about your wife?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I guess I’m screwed on that one because I owe you the same level of respect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What if it’s not her birthday?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Probably we’re not going out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Because?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t want to spend the money. Because we have food here. I just don’t want to go out, and it’s taken away from our relationship. If that means so much to her, yeah, I’ll make it a priority going forward. Maybe just quarterly, we’ll go out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:07:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Well, come on. I don’t believe that. You all have been married 28 years. You know it’s a priority. She’s been asking you every week for the last 20 years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:08:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a020. I know. It’s just, I don’t see a point. Can we do something else? That’s my thought.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:08:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0If we do something on my bucket list, then it’s like a check mark. So, like, I wanted to go to a happy hour recently, and it was on a Tuesday night, and he was like, „Why does it have to be a Tuesday? Why does it have to be a Tuesday?” So finally we went, and we had a really good time, and we enjoyed it. And then when we left, he said, „Okay, that’s off your bucket list now. Right? Check. Mark that off.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:08:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Let’s zoom in on that. What was with that comment?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:08:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Stop adding things to your list of things to go out and spend money on. I know this was only six bucks. It was a flight of beer. It was a crap brewery type thing. It was ambiance. It was us talking, connecting one on one type of thing. I just cringe. It’s not about her. It’s about the spending the money, going out. I don’t want the experience. I don’t need it. Maybe I don’t need the alcohol. Maybe I don’t need the extra food. I need to control, and that’s what it comes down to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can we do this exact same conversation, but can we just flip roles? So in this scenario, Angela, you don’t want to go out. You don’t want the calories. You don’t want the drinks. You just don’t want it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And Brian, you have been wanting to go out for years. You want to connect. You don’t care how much it costs. It’s not the point. It’s not even an expensive place. You just want to go out and spend time with your partner. So everybody get into their role.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m going to be Brian.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. And I would like for you to have that same conversation as each other. Go ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. I can’t wait. Tonight we’re going out to the Proper Brewing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m not going.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What? We planned on this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:09:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, no. I decided I don’t want to spend the money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You know they have happy hour, 5:00 to 7:00, free munchies. They have a band that’s coming in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Too crowded. I don’t need the calories. We have food at home. We can eat at home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We’ve been planning this for months.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I know, but money. We don’t need the food. We can just stay home. Maybe next week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Cut.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. That seemed to come very easy to both of you. What did it feel like?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sounds great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Just excuses, making excuses. There’s always excuses.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0To me it felt like a bit of a performance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And to me also, when I see you acting as yourselves, it also feels like a performance. How does that strike you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:10:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel as though, like, okay, when we retire officially, whenever that is, we have time for that stuff. Right now it’s about you relax when you come home from work. I’ll do my thing. And it’s like, I don’t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What about the performance aspect?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, I don’t know what you mean by that exactly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Like too dramatic? Like excuses?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Like each of you is a caricature. Like Brian, you are the grumpy, older guy who is like, food? We don’t need that. And like, ah, we’ll do it someday. Just kind of a reflexive no to anything that’s asked. And even when you are begrudgingly dragged there by your wife, then you have a comment at the end like, God, check it off the list.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s 100% who he is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:11:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay, maybe. That’s, in my opinion, playing a character. And then we have the wife who desperately wants to connect with her husband, wants to spend time. It doesn’t matter how much it is.\u00a0In fact, when I ask to do something, I’m going to emphasize how little it costs. It’s only a happy hour. It’s only 5:00 to 7:00.\u00a0And to have a live band. Let me please convince you to do this with me. Please, just this one thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Exactly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, a performance. What if you just didn’t do it? What if you just chose to play different roles? What if? I’m not saying you have to, but what if you did? What would happen?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You mean if I flip the script and I started wanting to go out? Just what we role played, that kind of thing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Maybe. That could be one, or maybe it could be a different role, whatever. But what if you just played different roles?\u00a0Is that possible?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. I’m not going to say impossible. Likely improbable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. What about for you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0For me to change my role?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:12:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel like I already have because I don’t ask as much anymore. Or I will do the things that are on my to-do list with a friend or one of the kids.\u00a0We spend a lot of time together. It’s just not those going out–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We can’t change that, right? Can’t change your roles.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Anything’s possible, to be honest with you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. What’s the vision for your retirement, Angela?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I would like to travel. We’ve talked about getting an RV and traveling across the country, but I also want to travel internationally. I just really want to travel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. All right. And Brian?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u00a0would say capital T Travel is as well as the top of my list.\u00a0But it’s going to be on the cheap,\u00a0I\u00a0think.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.\u00a0What was it like to do the conscious spending plan together?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:13:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think the pre-work was a lot. That overwhelms me. We need to pull these numbers. We need to look for this, go find this number, go find our last car insurance, things like that. But putting the numbers on paper, I felt good about it, and I think we worked good as a team.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, she had it all set\u00a0up Grand Central Station on the\u00a0table there and just gave me tasks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How long did it take you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0A couple days at least, because\u00a0there was just numbers she was asking for that I couldn’t find right away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. We just wanted to make sure our numbers were super accurate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0By the way, Brian, when I asked, how was it filling it out, I noticed you let out a big sigh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u00a0was relieved\u00a0at the end.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. But what about the part before the end?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0I was just on edge.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m getting\u00a0better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why\u00a0was\u00a0it irritable? I don’t want to see them as much, the numbers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Anxiety, fear, back to that whole situation that, oh, is this all we have? We don’t have\u00a0enough? How the hell are we going to do this? My father-in-law said a million.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:14:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Are we on the right track? Are we going to get there? There’s no way we can retire. These are the things that got me on edge.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0This is interesting, this reference to your father-in-law. So you’re 52 years old. You heard that like roughly 30 years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, yeah. High school.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How interesting, these phrases that we hear when we’re younger, and they stick with\u00a0us. They can alter the trajectory of our\u00a0life, of our relationship. That your dad making this comment can echo in\u00a0time 30 years\u00a0later when you’re talking about going to happy hour.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. And I don’t even remember him saying that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is he still with us?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What does he say now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I just dropped him off at the airport today. They’re heading to Florida.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0But what did he say about a million\u00a0dollars?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I did not\u00a0ask him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0He brought it up once. You’ve never brought it up again,\u00a0but you let it guide your life? Hello? What is happening right now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Never again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Should we get him on the phone?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We could.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:15:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What I said to Brian this morning was, why are you even thinking about his financial advice when he keeps his money under his mattress?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh. Dear, God.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Isn’t this fascinating? Brian has been holding onto a single number for his entire adult life, $1 million. That’s the number Brian heard when he was 18 from his father-in-law, and he just absorbed it. He didn’t question it. He adopted it as gospel. And that single number, that single offhanded comment has shaped how he sees money\u00a0and retirement and even his marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:39)\u00a0This is the power of one offhand comment. It’s not a spreadsheet, it’s not a budget. It’s just a sentence that he heard that calcified into a deeply held belief that decades later is now affecting every relationship about money with his wife.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:58)\u00a0The sad truth is if Brian still believes that number is the goal, but he can’t define what retirement looks like or how much it costs, then no amount of money will ever feel like enough. That’s why he can’t enjoy a 6-dollar happy hour. You know the most ironic part of this whole story? His father-in-law isn’t even someone he admires when it comes to money.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:20) It’s\u00a0like taking dating advice from your uncle who’s been divorced three times and lives in his grandma’s basement. Just because someone says something with confidence when you’re 18 years old does not mean you should let that shape your entire worldview.\u00a0And yet Brian’s been living by that million dollar myth for over 30 years. After this, I’m\u00a0going to\u00a0dig into their numbers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Interview)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Does he enjoy his money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Does he live the kind of life that you want to live?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t even know what that is but it’s not that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:17:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We should definitely follow his advice. Let’s look\u00a0at the numbers.\u00a0Let’s see here. Angela, can you read the word in bold and the number in full next to it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Assets. No, I actually can’t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it too small?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, I see it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No problem. Okay, go ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0961,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Great.\u00a0Investments?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0891,873.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0891,000, yes. Savings?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a015,718.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And debt?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0$294,342.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Perfect. Total net worth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a01,574,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0$1.5 million. Okay. How do you feel about those numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think they look great. He never saw that 1.5 before. I didn’t want him to see that net worth before he saw it here to get his true reaction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:18:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow. Are you from the TV industry or what? That’s a classic producer move. Get it on camera. Well done. And Brian, what do you think? $1.5 million.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It looks good on paper. Is it real?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow. A depressing answer to an otherwise\u00a0seven-figure\u00a0number.\u00a0Let’s not even take a second to celebrate it because we don’t celebrate it. We just worry about what’s coming next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, doom and gloom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sound familiar?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes, it does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, absolutely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The thing is, you’re in your 50s.\u00a0You can keep living this way. You can. Or you can change the entire way that you individually relate to money and you collectively– to realize that for your entire adult life you’ve been working towards having $1 million and you actually have 50% more than that, You were worried 20 minutes ago. We just discovered that your financial life is way different, probably better than you thought, and it did not change a single feeling, not even for a second.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:19:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It did. It was split second. I internalized it. You didn’t see a–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The goalpost always moves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t even mind goals moving. I don’t. I don’t mind goals moving. I mind if they’re moving without a reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0If it’s somebody who is just picking a number, holding their finger in the air, and then I go, „Why?” They go, „I don’t know. My father-in-law said it 30 years\u00a0ago.” I go, „That’s how you’re making decisions? And literally, we’re not talking about just a couple of small decisions like happy hour. We’re\u00a0talking about\u00a0what retirement looks like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:32)\u00a0So today, actually, really excited to get a chance to add a little bit of intellectual rigor to the way you’re thinking about money. Let’s look at the rest of these numbers.\u00a0Income. Angela, gross monthly combined income?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a015,674.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Cool. So you have a household income of $188,000. What do you think about that income?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:20:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I actually think it’s great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I’m thrilled.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Who’s the person who makes double the other? Brian makes double what Angela– okay, got it. Okay, cool. That’s a very good income. Great job.\u00a0Fixed costs. All right, 72%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s\u00a0a bit high.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Very high.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Shall we take a\u00a0look?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your mortgage is 3,500 bucks. Okay. We have a car payment of 641. No debt. Groceries of 500 bucks a month for two kids at home and\u00a0two adults.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Truly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow. Okay. Nice. Nice work. Phone at 107, and subscriptions at $6 a month. That can’t be right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What’s six? What are you getting for six?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0$2 I pay extra for Apple storage,\u00a0and $4 he does the MLB app<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. That’s it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Only\u00a0in baseball season.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:21:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m like, „Did y’all leave a couple of zeros off this?” No, it’s\u00a0literally $6. Do you have Netflix or something\u00a0like that?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">None of that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I do Discovery, and we have Hulu, but we put that up with our–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0TV or something else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, exactly. Cable. We did that with cable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Honestly, this is the lowest subscription number I’ve ever seen that is correct. I have to give you a round of applause.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes, thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’ve never seen it. Look\u00a0at the numbers. They look fake on the page. 2, 4, 6. I’m like, what is this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0They do look fake.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, it’s accurate. I can’t believe it. You mentioned in your application, like, we are extremely frugal. We don’t spend money on anything. And I think $6\u00a0for a family of four and two kids out of the house, that is very frugal.\u00a0Okay. And yet your fixed are 72%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. Why that? It seems crazy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why do you think that is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I often think is our mortgage too high, but there’s nothing we can do about that. We actually pay extra in that mortgage. So we pay 400 extra into that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What’s your interest rate?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:22:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a03.37 or something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:23:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Your housing cost is okay. It’s 27% when we factor it all in. Usually we like to see it below 28.\u00a0It’s very difficult to get that. You have a very low interest rate, and you’re paying extra, so it’s probably more like 22 or something. You do have 750 bucks in utilities, and you have insurance for 600 bucks. You have car expenses for 641.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:23:23)\u00a0All that stuff adds up\u00a0even with a high income. It’s not horrible.\u00a0And actually, we could drop this number right now. I’ll just drop it right now. Instead of 3,501, I’ll drop it to 3101. Yeah, you’re at 67%,\u00a0which is okay.\u00a0It’s not bad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:23:44)\u00a0Investments at 35%? Okay, so we have your post-tax and pre-tax. So you’re investing 3,000 bucks a month. That’s good. And your investments are $891,000. Okay, very good. As you get older, particularly if people started late in life, that number needs to be high, a lot higher than most people are comfortable with.\u00a0So this is nice. Are you saving money for anything at all?\u00a0Any savings?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Both of our checks just automatically get deposited into our savings, and that’s–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Then you use it from there?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, we just use it from there. Sometimes if our account gets high, high, we’ll take some out and throw it into a CD.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Huh?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s because I don’t want that money locked up for a long time. So I’m like, I could throw it in for six months and make 4%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah,\u00a0don’t do that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Who taught you that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0My dad, my dad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Get your dad– you know what? We have your dad here all on the fun. Why is your dad the ghost in this relationship. And your dad who doesn’t really use money effectively. What is happening right now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, no, no, no. I don’t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Dad is telling you in 1968, you got to buy a CD. It’s so good. It’s illiquid, but it’s good. What the\u00a0(Bleep)? CD make no sense anymore.\u00a0Do you spend any money guilt-free? You don’t really go out to a restaurant. Maybe you go out to the happy hour place every month or whatever, couple of months.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Not much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Anything else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Needs. If I need light bulbs, if the mower breaks and I have to fix it, if the–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s a Rich Life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah,\u00a0I know. Totally.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I love my light bulbs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0If something\u00a0breaks, I need it to fix it. No blow, lawn mower.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0He’s going to go to a concert Friday night?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. That’s one of the few things\u00a0that I would do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Hold on, hold on. You’re going to a\u00a0concert. I love that. I noticed that when she said he’s going to a concert, your immediate reaction was to defend it. Can you try it again and this time accept it. Yeah. I’m going to a concert.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m going to concert.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, that’s definitely guilt-free spending for me. I usually go by myself because I enjoy it. And\u00a0so a band from the ’80s is going to be playing in the Poconos<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Which band?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Winger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Winger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Where are they singing? Would I know it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Seventeen, Madalaine. This is from the late ’80s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:25:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. So you are having some guilt-free spending, just not properly classified as such. It just comes from this slush fund.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Exactly. And that’s what we don’t necessarily put anything to savings, but all of our money goes in savings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. But I do want to point out that if one or both of you got laid off, you have two months\u2019 worth of savings. That’s risky.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. It’s typically not that low, but we bought cars and then our financial advisor told us, because–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We were trying to time the market.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What the\u00a0(Bleep)? I didn’t know about this. Tell me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Well, this has just happened recently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So typically we would pull $600 out of our checking account each month for both of us–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The Roth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0–to fund the Roth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So he just said, because the numbers dipped, why don’t we–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Max it out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0–just max it out? So we took–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What does this guy work for? Hold on. Does this guy work for Northwestern Mutual or was he your high school buddy? Which one is it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, he’s from my school district.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:26:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u00a0(Bleep)\u00a0knew it. So he’s preying on you and other school teachers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is that preying?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. So this is your financial advisor. Colleague?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Not a colleague. That’s his job.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He just serves teachers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, he just serves teachers. And I did just find out, because I hear you say it all the time about paying a flat fee versus the percentage.\u00a0So he charges me 0.8%, and he charges 0.9% to Brian because he doesn’t have as much money in that I do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Do you think that’s good or bad?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It’s bad.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes, it’s bad.\u00a0You’re paying to get horrible advice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I guess you’re right because we pulled 6,600 plus 6,600 out of our checking account last week and fully funded our Roth through the end of the year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s fine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. So that wasn’t bad advice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:27:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, it’s not necessarily bad. It’s the principle of trying to time the market. No credible advisor would tell you that. Whether it’s up, whether it’s down,\u00a0we want to do it consistently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:28:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:28:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So I don’t like that. I don’t like a 0.8 and 0.9% fee, which over time, would you a lot of money.\u00a0I don’t like that you got this guy through your school district. I don’t like a lot of this.\u00a0How long have you been paying this guy? Please don’t tell me decades.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:28:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a010 years.\u00a0But the positive about that is it started me investing from the day I started working. I was a stay-at-home mom for 13 and a half years, so I had no retirement. I carry the health insurance, and I fund my retirement. And then what comes in the mail or comes into my checking account every week is literally $1,059.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:28:46)\u00a0That’s what I make every two weeks because they were my goals, to fund my retirement, which, it looks pretty good after just 10 years. But yeah, that is where I met him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:28:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Now I think I understand a little bit more about the numbers. Let me ask about you.\u00a0Can you think of a time recently where you were not on the same page with money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:29:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh my gosh. If you want us to talk about the whole food issue, we argue about this all the time, and I’m always justifying. I justify money all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:29:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You’re justifying this answer to me right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:29:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I am justifying this to you. So I am the shopper in the house, so I do all the grocery shopping.\u00a0One of my hobbies is also bargain shopping. So in our area, we have lots of bargain grocery store type places. So I just hit him once a week, and if something that I buy regular is on special, I will stock up on it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:29:52)\u00a0And it drives him crazy. So he’ll say, „Why do we need eight jars of peanut butter?” And I’ll say, „Because they were a $1.99.”\u00a0And he’ll say, „But we don’t need eight.” And I’m like, „But then next week I would go to the store and they’d be 3 99. So I’m actually saving us money.” He doesn’t like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How often do you talk about this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Almost\u00a0every day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Every day almost. Every day.\u00a0It’s not always peanut butter. It’s mozzarella cheese. It’s fruit\u00a0snacks,\u00a0Pop-Tarts, granola bars, protein bars.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How\u00a0many granola bars?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How many can you count? How high can you count?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a010 different\u00a0types.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a010 different boxes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a010 different boxes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a010 boxes of six?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. 60 granola bars. All right. What else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Let’s move on\u00a0to nuts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. I don’t know.\u00a0Planters nuts, cashews, some other nut\u00a0covered in something.\u00a0Another nut covered in something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So I just bought them, and they were 99 cents. So I bought six bags of the savory type and six bags of the cappuccino flavor.\u00a0And they will be gone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:30:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0There’s 30 bags of\u00a0chips. You name any chip in the\u00a0world, and it’s in our pantry. Get two bags of chips, not 30 bags of chips.\u00a0That’s just the pantry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:31:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0When you see these large volumes of snacks, what does it say to you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:31:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I just\u00a0want to\u00a0throw up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:31:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:31:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Because it’s just wasteful. It’s\u00a0going to\u00a0go stale. The kids don’t eat it. She thinks she’s feeding the kids or feeding someone.\u00a0It’s terrible.\u00a0Why are we wasting money\u00a0on\u00a0ridiculous food that no one eats? So I went in there and I\u00a0just went ballistic. So I got a trash bag,\u00a030-gallon\u00a0trash bag full of anything fruit\u00a0snacks:\u00a0gummies, fruit roll-ups. Pulled that whole\u00a0thing out\u00a0like Santa, and I threw it in the\u00a0bedroom<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:31:43)\u00a0And it\u00a0sat in the bedroom for about six weeks.\u00a0It’s just one aspect. If I go to my fridge in the garage, that’s our alternate\u00a0fridge, there’s 30\u00a0packages of mozzarella in there. I don’t eat mozzarella.\u00a0(Bleep)\u00a0doesn’t eat it.\u00a0(Bleep)\u00a0doesn’t eat it, and she doesn’t eat it. I don’t know who’s eating this stuff.\u00a0Our two\u00a0kids that come and\u00a0visit for two days.\u00a0I don’t care if they were a\u00a0dollar per package.\u00a0That’s a dollar\u00a0out of\u00a0my gas tank.\u00a0That’s a dollar that I’m not funding something.\u00a0It is a waste.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What’s the line?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s his line. It could have been a dollar in the gas tank.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And what does that make you feel when you hear that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s frustrating because I have very much changed my ways.\u00a0So now when I am shopping, it’s almost like I have handcuffs on. I’ll look at something and–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Well, how many handcuffs can you have if you’re buying 600 protein bars? It doesn’t sound like they’re that strong. She goes, „I got handcuffs on. I\u00a0just take them off when–„<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, you don’t understand what I mentally go through in the grocery store.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tell me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:32:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I literally will pick something up. I’ll be like, „Wow, that’s a great price.” But then I’ll have to look at the calories\u00a0because\u00a0my one daughter’s gluten-free and dairy-free. The other one’s worried about this. He’s worried about calories.\u00a0So it’s a struggle with every single product. This is a great product. I wish I could buy it, but I don’t know who’s going to eat it. I better not. And then I put it back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can I tell\u00a0you? It sounds very dramatic. It almost sounds like we’re on Broadway and it’s a play. Each person’s playing their part.\u00a0We have Brian going,\u00a0„Oh my God. What?” Right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Every\u00a0time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Every time. Pulling in a Santa Claus type bag over his shoulder. And then we have Angela going like, „You don’t understand. I used to buy more.\u00a0And also, I’m saving money. Because otherwise I would be paying three times more for that peanut butter.” It’s pretty funny. But is this the way you\u00a0want to\u00a0spend the rest of your life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why do you do it? You must be getting something out of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Because I’m set in my ways now with the way I shop.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, like I have to buy bargain shopping.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That’s who I am.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. It’s true. I consider it one of my hobbies.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. How do you think that this hobby is serving you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:33:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel like I’m being responsible to our household\u00a0because\u00a0I feel like the four of us being able to eat for $500 is great. I also think, what would my other hobby be, and how much money would I be spending if I chose a different hobby?\u00a0I physically cannot go to a regular grocery store and pay those prices.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:34:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, you physically can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:34:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u00a0physically can. I every other way cannot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:34:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wow. Brian just saw his net worth for the first time, and it was a $1.5 million. Did you see it? Angela had to stage the reveal just to get a live reaction. And his response tells me everything about his money mindset. Did you see it? Looks good on paper.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is what happens when you’ve trained yourself to worry for 30 years. Even when you’ve working towards a number and you discover you have 50% more than that number at age 52, even when you’re financially okay, your default worldview is doom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is what so many people in a hyper frugalista world don’t realize. If your entire worldview is about how little you can spend, how risky money is, how there’ll never be enough, then even when you have more than enough, your feelings will not change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:34:26)\u00a0Now, zoom out. Look at what’s really going on here. Arguments about peanut butter, trash bags full of fruit snacks, spending time and energy discussing the fine points of mozzarella. It’s not just quirky behavior. This is what I call the sitcom dynamic. I write about it in my book, Money for Couples.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:34:44)\u00a0Now we all know a couple like this, a couple that bickers like it’s their love language. They jab each other. They finish each other’s complaints. Everybody laughs at dinner parties, but they just keep doing it over and over again. It’s like a rerun. And at first, it’s funny. It might even be charming. But when you realize they’ve been doing this for decades, it’s actually quite sad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:35:08)\u00a0Angela and Brian are playing characters. She’s the coupon queen in the grocery aisle who still somehow buys 600 protein bars. He’s the grumpy guy pulling granola bars\u00a0out of\u00a0the pantry and dumping them in the trash. Both of these are performances. They both think they are being productive. This bickering gives them a false sense of progress, but the truth is they are stuck in a dynamic that feels familiar and safe, but it is actually eroding their connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:35:40)\u00a0Do you know anybody who has a sitcom dynamic like this where they both jab each other and they both joke, but it’s not really a joke? When you ask people in a dynamic like this, do you like it? They go, „No.” So why does it keep going? Well, it’s what we know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:35:55)\u00a0Even when something isn’t serving us, doing what we’ve always done feels more comfortable than change. And deep down, I\u00a0got to\u00a0tell you, it’s easy to argue about groceries. But asking questions like, what do I actually want from retirement is way harder than complaining about granola bars.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:36:17)\u00a0These dynamics are really hard to change, but if you want to, you can change them. I talk about changing your money dynamic in my new book, Money for Couples. And if you\u00a0want to\u00a0learn how, you can download the first chapter for free at iwt.com\/mfcpreview. Money for Couples. iwt.com\/mfcpreview.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Interview)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:36:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s interesting that the hobby for you, the primary sense of joy seems to be how much value can I get? In other words, how little can I pay and get good stuff? But on your application, you wrote, „We\u00a0never eat out or go out. We save money whenever we\u00a0can. It’s hard to know we are financially fine, yet he thinks we are poor.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I agree that’s a problem,\u00a0but what role do you have in contributing to this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Gosh, I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong. I really don’t. Other than maybe the quantity of what I bring things in. Like I said, I do feel like I have curved that. But if you told me, you can’t bargain shop anymore, you need to just go to a regular grocery store and buy one jar of peanut butter, that would go against every grain in my body. I would rather not eat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Do you mean that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I really do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Playing so small that your hobby is shopping in bulk for kids that are grown and don’t even really eat this stuff. Husband coming in with his ho, ho, ho, bag,\u00a0(Bleep)\u00a0saying, „Oh, this sucks.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:37:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What I really want you to see is the characters you’re playing. If they are the characters you want to play, amazing. I’ll help you play them even better. But I actually don’t think you like the characters you are playing. And what you may not realize is you don’t have to play characters at all. What part were you playing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The justifier.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes. I need to gather all the information to convince\u00a0my obstinate husband why to say yes. Because by\u00a0default he’s\u00a0going to say?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And Brian, what role were you playing in that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Probably the victim, like, I have to do this\u00a0again?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow.\u00a0There’s something quite chilling about hearing somebody talk about that with their–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Again, that’s tongue in cheek.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:38:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it, though? Because here I am talking about playing characters. You guys have been married 28\u00a0years, and the sitcom dynamic is not working for me. Tongue in cheek saying like, I’m the\u00a0victim because I got to spend time with my wife,\u00a0I\u00a0don’t find it funny.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:39:03)\u00a0And I\u00a0think you guys have found a way to camouflage what is ultimately some serious disagreements and pain with laughter and jokes and jabs. Guys, I would never talk to my wife like that.\u00a0The role you’re playing\u00a0besides the tongue in cheek role, of actually something I think is quite hurtful is the decider. Let her bring the data to\u00a0me, and\u00a0I will evaluate it and decree\u00a0what we will do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:39:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0True.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:39:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why do you decide? Why don’t you decide? Why have you agreed on this role\u00a0where you have to plead and beg, „Oh, please let me provide you the data. Please decide in my way.” Why?\u00a0She\u00a0could always go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:39:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’ve never stopped her if she wanted to do something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:39:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s not my question. Anyone can always go. You two are married. She wants to go with you. Why are you the one who decides? I’m not saying what should be. I’m saying why is that role the one that has\u00a0emerged?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know. Let’s do something\u00a0that doesn’t requires money.\u00a0That’s how I feel. I don’t want to spend the money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I really want my life to be full of experiences and doing things and going places, and he more is a home buddy. And like you said, when he comes home from work, he does want to eat dinner, hang with the kids for a little workout, and go to bed early.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Can you make it work with both of your visions?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. As long as we book it in advance and it’s not off the cuff and the financial piece is justified.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh. How do we tell that it’s justified?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s probably my\u00a0role book, again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, so you’re the decider?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0He’s the decider.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I can see how you’ve created this tautology. Oh, sure. We can reconcile our mutually disagreed views if we plan in advance and this thing happens. And also,\u00a0ultimately,\u00a0I’m the decider of whether it’s financially justified or not. Do I know about our numbers? No. I don’t even know our net worth as recently as 10 minutes ago, but I’ll decide. Does it sound absurd as I say it out loud?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It does sound absurd.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And yet you’ve been doing it for almost 30 years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You want to keep doing it? Wow, I didn’t hear a no in that. That’s interesting.\u00a0You know what? Let me just tell you something. If you want to keep doing\u00a0it, I don’t mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Trust me, I’m not here to change your mind. Please remember you came to me. So\u00a0if you tell me, „Ramit,\u00a0we actually like the way it works.” I won’t change you if you don’t want to change. But I don’t think you’ve actually ever thought deeply about the dynamics between the two of you and money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That food bill, that is the biggest overarching issue right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0A 500-dollar–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:41:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m just saying the excessive\u00a0purchase of–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Fruit snacks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Of just\u00a0fruit snacks.\u00a0There’s 30\u00a0boxes of cereal in that pan. I’m just saying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why don’t you take over the grocery purchases? Drop it\u00a0to 250. It shouldn’t be too hard, right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, it wouldn’t fly.\u00a0One, I don’t have the\u00a0patience for it, and I really– I do\u00a0appreciate\u00a0that\u00a0she does. She’s awesome\u00a0at it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Uh-oh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0She’s\u00a0awesome at it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0But if it\u00a0could be 250, surely that’s a lot of money, right? It’s a lot of gas money. So why don’t you just take it over?\u00a0She’ll let you, I bet I could convince her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It may work. There probably won’t be too much– it would\u00a0just be the staples in the house. It would make me happy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What’s wrong with that? We don’t need waste.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We\u00a0don’t need waste.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So cut the waste. 250 a month. You’d have 250 extra per\u00a0month. That’s a lot of money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sounds good. What do you think, Angela?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, because it’s my hobby.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:42:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Ah. And I don’t want him doing it. Sometimes I do send him to the store, and I know this is like those 3-dollar things we shouldn’t be worrying about. But if I send him to the store for something, I worry about, how much is he going to spend? Is he going to price check? What brand is he going to buy?\u00a0What’s he going to get? So it’s just easier for me to be like, „I’m really busy, but I’ll stop at the store and get it.”\u00a0So I do want the control over purchases like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:43:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The only time I go to the grocery store would be for, say, my staples. I’m getting chicken or oatmeal or something that’s\u00a0safe because I’ve\u00a0gotten burned.\u00a0The\u00a0dumb buffoon husband that comes home? You spent $3 more on that, whatever\u00a0it is. Well, you know\u00a0I get it at this price. Those days are\u00a0over. I’m not\u00a0making that mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:43:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And I don’t know when I’ve done that last.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:43:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0She’s a great bargain shopper. Awesome, awesome. But just slow down on the excessive nature of it that we don’t need. It ends up in the trash can. It’s\u00a0wasteful, and it’s money that could go elsewhere.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:43:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Where would it go?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:43:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Go in my gas tank. It would go in the Roth IRA. It would go somewhere. It would go in the savings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:44:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You guys have a lot of good answers for every question. You’re just still not getting anywhere. You notice that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:44:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I totally notice that. I’ve been fighting this fight for a long time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:44:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s not a fight. You both walked into a spider web of your own making, and you could easily get out at any time, easily, but you actually enjoy being in it. You like the cobweb. You like being stuck and trapped. You like the drama. There’s actually no reason for you to change right now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:44:33)\u00a0Look, I actually offered to have Brian take over the groceries, and even Angela said, „No,\u00a0cover me in cobwebs.\u00a0I like it.” Even right there with an offer where it\u00a0would’ve been quite amusing and interesting to see Brian do it. And would he have realized you can’t cut a family of four down to 250 years? He would’ve realized it instantly. But you wouldn’t allow it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:44:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel like that’s a role that we just fill. It’s just my job to do that. It’s his job to take out the trash, do the dishes, and it’s my job to do the laundry and do the groceries. That would be hard for me to give up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Don’t. Again, it’s totally up to you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What do you want to do? Because right now we haven’t changed a single thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You guys came out of your way. I want to help. What do you want to do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I really want to be more on the same page with our future. I never thought of us playing these caricatures like you’re saying, and it freaks me out a little.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why does it freak you out?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:45:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Because I feel like I’m a really real person, and I don’t feel like I’m playing a character. We’ve been together for a really long time, and we have a really good relationship, and we have fun together. Do we go out to eat? No. Do I wish we’d go more? Yes. But I think over time you just adapt. And I’ve just adapted to that’s the type of personality he has. And like I say, it’s not that I don’t do things.\u00a0I’m just not always doing them with him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:46:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Did you catch that? Angela just told me she wants to get on the same page and then she immediately walked it back.\u00a0Well, we have a good relationship. We have fun together. Ah, I’ve just adapted. When people are thinking about change, they usually experience a lot of resistance, and there’s a voice in the back of their head that says, „You’re actually fine. It’s not that bad. We actually really love each other.” Okay, you can love each other and still\u00a0want to\u00a0change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:46:36)\u00a0What’s really happening here is that that voice in your head wants you to stay exactly as you are, not change, because change is scary and uncomfortable. Staying the same is comfortable. Now, I’m not here to change a dynamic, just to be provocative, but I am\u00a0going to\u00a0push when I hear someone say, I\u00a0want to\u00a0change, and then they immediately start convincing themselves that they don’t actually\u00a0want to\u00a0change.\u00a0Listen as I challenge Angela on the very reason she applied to speak with me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Interview)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So I agree that you don’t have to do everything with your partner, and your partner’s not going to like to do everything that you want to do.\u00a0I understand that. That’s normal. But you applied. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum with our finances, and I really feel like we are okay. And like I said, I don’t think we need to work until we’re 65 to then be able to travel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So if I told you right now you don’t have to work until you’re 65, would it change anything?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I would believe you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Brian?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I would believe you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0But?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:48)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think I need to work just for my sense of feeling I’m productive. I don’t want to be sitting home watching TV. I feel like I need to, and I might as well be an earner along with working.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I just worry that we’ve worked super, super, super hard, and our numbers are what our numbers are, and that we’re living too little of a life. I also play the role with him where I want him to live a bigger life. And he’s very happy being simple, but I want him to live that bigger life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:33)\u00a0A perfect example is the other day, Wawa had free coffee day, and he loves blueberry coffee. And throughout the day he had three blueberry coffees, and he was so excited about this. And the next text to him literally was, „You know you can go get a Wawa blueberry coffee any day you want.” But he won’t spend the $2 on himself to get a blueberry Wawa coffee.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So he’s just making his life too simple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:48:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And that’s sad for me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0And I don’t think I deserve it. Just because I can make my own coffee at home, that’s not the point. The point is if I need something, a light bulb part, a piece of weight equipment to better myself, that’s all I really need. I don’t need to be to live more than what I need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What does your wife need?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0She\u00a0needs more relationship connection, which I’m probably not providing. I think the older we get, the more apart we grow, to be honest with you. That’s clearly what today shows is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Tell me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That money\u00a0aside, I think\u00a0until the kids– again, I’m using kids an excuse. That’s a poor excuse. But until the kids leave, say they leave whenever in a few years, maybe that’s where things come back. And it’s a big maybe. But I think we’ve just grown apart over the years for whatever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m not even so much apart, more that we–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:49:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0More distant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:50:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can I?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:50:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah,\u00a0for sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:50:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0First of all, that’s pretty honest, so I really appreciate that. It’s not easy to say. It’s very courageous to say, especially as a couple in your 50s, and I’m sure you have friends and others who have approached being empty nesters, and that’s a scary time. And then as you think about that with retirement, that can be really scary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:50:28)\u00a0One, both changing or losing their identity. That’s not easy. It’s scary for women in ways. It’s scary for men in other ways, and for couples. You said that it’s clear you’ve grown apart. Maybe that will change when the kids leave, maybe. I hope it does. But you probably know couples who it’s gotten worse when kids left.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:51:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I\u00a0want to\u00a0jump in quickly because this is pretty heartbreaking. Angela sees how small their life has become, and she’s right. It didn’t happen all at once. It happened $2 at a time. This is the hidden cost of decades of frugality. First, you do it for a reason. Then you do it out of habit, and sometimes you start to believe you don’t deserve anything else.\u00a0It goes beyond saving money on coffee. And sometimes in situations like this, you start to realize how narrow your life has become.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:51:34)\u00a0And then Brian said something that really stopped me cold. He said, „I think the older we get, the more we grow apart.”\u00a0It’s one of the most honest things that he says in this entire conversation, and I think it’s one of the saddest. I see this all the time. Couples are sharing a home, sharing a bank account, but they haven’t actually sat down and had a substantive conversation about money in decades. Sometimes they haven’t asked each other a question in years. It’s lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:52:09)\u00a0Money can keep us apart if we let it. When you don’t have a\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0vision, every financial decision becomes reactive. You cut back. You track every dollar. You argue over pennies, each of you retreating to your own corner of the ring because there’s no bigger picture guiding you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:52:28)\u00a0Sometimes you might even start to see your spouse as your financial enemy.\u00a0I suspect sometimes money is a convenient distraction from deeper issues.\u00a0If you’re listening to this and thinking we don’t actually have a\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0vision either, then I created a free guide to help you create yours.\u00a0You can do it fast, and it is fun to do. Download the free guide at iwt.com\/richlife.\u00a0Now listen, as I challenge their perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Interview)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:52:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is it money that’s stopping you from connecting, or is that a convenient excuse?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s convenient excuse. The only glaring\u00a0thing is that\u00a0excessive, smaller purchase stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can I just tell you right now?\u00a0$500 a month on groceries is not excessive. Your family spends half of what another equivalent family would spend. You’re not even close to excess.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. I never\u00a0personally understood why people spend so much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s okay. You don’t have to understand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’m just saying, for me, and I appreciate what you do, getting all the weekly groceries. You’re the best at it. So I just settle for\u00a0you being excessive in your own nature with stuff we don’t need and up throwing away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can I ask it a different way?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:53:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Settling is one way to put it. It’s a bit of a loaded term. What if it costs $100 a month for Angela to have a hobby. Doesn’t hurt anybody. She’s entertained. She’s productive and feels productive, and once in a while you have some extra stuff you can donate or whatever, 100 bucks\u00a0a month. What would you say to that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:54:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I never thought about it that way, and that’s actually what ended up happening. I took the fruit snacks and donated them to the school, and the kids loved them. And within 10 minutes, boom, they were all gone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:54:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I wish you would’ve just bought the fruit snacks\u00a0and took them right to the school. That would’ve made me happy because I’m donating.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:54:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0She could’ve, but she didn’t. But it doesn’t change anything. $100\u00a0a month changes nothing out of $188,000 a year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:54:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:54:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Literally nothing. But what I think is a more haunting truth is your admission that you’ve drifted apart. If you want to reverse that, I think you really could. I think there’s a lot of things you could do.\u00a0This is just one of them, but it would take totally reconceptualizing\u00a0your relationship with money and\u00a0with each other. What do you think?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah,\u00a0I think we can do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh yeah, no doubt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How would you start?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Go to happy hour.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I guess I’m going to happy hour next week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Can\u00a0you say that again\u00a0as if you wanted to do it? Because it’s about connecting with\u00a0your wife, not losing. I think the jokes have to stop. Think of yourself not as characters, but as wearing masks. The mask that you each wear is what? Describe it in detail. What is the mask that you wear when it comes to money in your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Probably just a frown,\u00a0Debbie Downer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0I like\u00a0that. Keep going.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:50)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Maybe a blank\u00a0face. Maybe just no reaction. You’re talking to a wall almost.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:55:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. Never getting excited. What else is under the mask?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:56:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Hmm.\u00a0Temperature’s very cold. If you had to put a temperature to it, neutral, cold, arms folded.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:56:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0Operating off an old script that some\u00a0person said who doesn’t even know what they’re talking about. A million\u00a0dollars. Then it turns out you have more than 50% more. Doesn’t change a thing. Not particularly knowledgeable about\u00a0money. It’s very perplexing. The decider is actually the one who doesn’t even know that much about money.\u00a0It’s weird. All of these things. Now, can you flip it? Take that\u00a0mask off. What’s under it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:56:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Under it, exuberant, but reserved\u00a0at the same time. It’s almost like I want to do more, but step on the brakes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:56:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s old ideology. It’s not comfortable in my skin as far as finances go. That’s why she handles it. I don’t want to know where the money’s going, but yet, I don’t want to buy something unless it’s needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s like you’re a backseat driver. You don’t want to grocery shop, but you want her to cut it by half. You don’t want to know where the money’s going, not even to the point of knowing your net worth, but you know that she’s spending too much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. You’re right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s like if you want to have a strong point of\u00a0view on the money, okay, fine, but you got to get involved.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Angela, any of this sound familiar?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You ever tell him that, stop being a backseat driver.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Not those words,\u00a0but I usually say we have the money. We’re fine. You don’t have to worry about that. We can afford that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And does that ever work?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:57:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Doesn’t sound like it worked. He’s even saying no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Reassuring people who don’t understand money– reassuring them by\u00a0pointing at numbers never works.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. That I think is the main reason why I’m here.\u00a0That is the reason why I’m here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You wanted somebody else,\u00a0maybe a man– I don’t know if it has to do with being a\u00a0man or not– to say, „Hey, she was\u00a0right. You’re actually okay.” Hoping that me saying that reaches him, and then happily ever after, you can go out to dinner and take trips.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Maybe.\u00a0That sounds good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:36)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is\u00a0that what you wanted?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:58:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I sometimes play a mother role with him. And just going back to that coffee, he’s a very hard worker, and we’ve saved a lot. And I think we’ve lived a really good life, even though we’ve saved a lot. So by me just saying, we have enough money, we can do that.\u00a0And then him just always saying, knowing never wanted to do it. I just feel sad that we’re not living a bigger life, and it comes down, I think, to money for you a lot of the times.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It sure does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And you’re also a home buddy though, so that–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, that’s–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s not always about money. It’s not always–<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Are you justifying\u00a0for him?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. I’m always justifying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Why don’t you stop doing that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:16)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.\u00a0I should.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What needs to happen is exactly that. You making the case for me.\u00a0The minute either of you starts trying to advocate for yourself, you start justifying for the other, especially you Angela. This happened 20 times in this conversation.\u00a0So you end up spinning, spinning and then you’re back, and you just run out of breath.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0It’s not money. You have enough money. You have 50% more than he even\u00a0thought. It’s not money. Come on. We have to be honest with ourselves. And I think you were making some very bold points about taking off the mask.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:59:53)\u00a0You’re exuberant, but I think the word you’re looking for is scared or\u00a0nervous. I’m nervous that if I go out to this dinner, I might like it then I might want to do it all the time. Or I enjoyed this coffee for free, but if I do it once a week, then I might do it once a day, and that’s wasteful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:00:07)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, yeah. For sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:00:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0But you didn’t let him get there, and you didn’t take the initiative to talk about it.\u00a0We’re talking around it, all of us. We’ve been talking around it for 30 years. The reason that I’m getting a little agitated is that you have a long life ahead of you,\u00a0many decades together. But also that time goes very quickly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:00:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:00:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s why I keep repeating to you, you can go on the way you’ve gone. You’ll take one vacation a\u00a0year. You’ll play this drama in the pantry. Your kids will\u00a0leave, and that’s it. But Angela, you wrote to me saying, I think we’re living too small of a life. What would it look like if you changed your spending to better align with a new Rich Life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What would I do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I know it’s going to sound simple, but go out to eat I would even say just once a month.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Sounds good. Where would you go?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Somewhere on my list.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Would you go solo? Would you go together?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, no, I would go together<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. I like that. And the RV, if and when you get an RV, would that be your primary home?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know that we could have it as our primary home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You’d\u00a0keep this house?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0No, definitely not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:38)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We’ve talked about once the kids move out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Oh, you’d sell it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Absolutely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Too big of a house for\u00a0us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How much\u00a0will you make from it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0About\u00a0500,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Move into\u00a0a smaller rancher or something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And then find\u00a0a small rancher.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:01:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You’ll make\u00a0500,000. Wow. You’re going to be multimillionaires. You’re sure you’re going to be able to afford to eat out once a month having $2 million.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes,\u00a0we can afford to eat out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Shall we run your retirement numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Let’s assume that you retire in five years. Would that be a fair place to\u00a0start?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:13)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0If you retire in five years, you’ll have $1.48 million. We assume a 3% withdrawal rate, not a typical four. Three because you would be younger. I want to make sure you don’t run out of money. This number is a little flexible, but just assume it. Social\u00a0security\u00a0plus a 10k pension, you’d have about $84,500 in safe withdrawal income.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:38)\u00a0If you retire in 10 years,\u00a0you’ll have $2.3 million as it currently stands. If we assume a 4% withdrawal rate, plus social security, plus a 10k pension, you’ll have $130,000 in safe withdrawal income. What do you think about that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That sounds better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:02:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah,\u00a0I agree.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That sounds very doable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:03)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What is your natural inclination? Right now, hearing these two things, what do you naturally feel? Brian?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:11)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Work\u00a0two\u00a0more years\u00a0than that, get to 65.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Get to 65, okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Because that puts us about 63\u00a0or so, give or take.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So work to 65. You’d have even more. Maybe it’d be 135 or something like that. Okay,\u00a0cool. That’s your natural inclination. I hear that loud and clear. Angela, how about you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Same thing. Five years wouldn’t be doable.\u00a0I’ll do 10, not 12.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay, so there’s a little bit of disagreement here and there. Maybe one of you retires a\u00a0couple of years early. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, that’s\u00a0fine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:40)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So I like this. What we’re doing now is we’re going from the clouds to the\u00a0street. We’re grounding it.\u00a0It’s not just about\u00a0feelings, these abstract feelings and 28-year-old arguments.\u00a0It’s like, no, let’s look at some\u00a0numbers. Let’s start to get\u00a0real. Time is ticking.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:03:56)\u00a0I’ll tell you that my natural\u00a0inclination would be, first off, I need to run\u00a0the numbers carefully because if we sell the\u00a0house and we don’t have a car payment and we’re not paying for kids to eat, but we’re also eating out\u00a0more and traveling\u00a0more, how much do we actually\u00a0need?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:15)\u00a0Because I’m not trying\u00a0to make my biggest life decision based on vibes. I need actual numbers. So that’s the first thing I would do. The second thing, my natural inclination is, is how do we get there faster?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The thing is, you actually could get there faster. It might mean\u00a0incomes. You could take some of your expenses, which are, I don’t think, properly categorized. An extra 500 bucks a month could be found and put it towards investments, and that could substantially change\u00a0the outcome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm. Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:54)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Do you see that when\u00a0we’re talking\u00a0at this level, suddenly fruit roll-ups is not the issue. That’s actually so\u00a0small and insignificant. Maybe you need to buy less fruit roll ups. Maybe. But telling Angela, „Stop buying fruit roll ups. So wasteful.” Won’t do\u00a0it. But actually saying like, „Hey, if we’re able to cut our X, Y, Z\u00a0costs by $600 a\u00a0month and direct it to investments, we can retire one year earlier.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s\u00a0powerful. Does that\u00a0reach you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, that makes sense.\u00a0Yeah, absolutely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0When you play small for too long, that’s all\u00a0you know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:30)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And part of the reason I want to talk to you is to zoom out.\u00a0Be like, no, these are the big,\u00a0big life decisions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, I hear you. So I agree.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The question I would be asking is, how do we make the next 10 years magical? Not wait. I’ll never wait\u00a010 years.\u00a0I won’t even wait two years. How do we make the next 10 years magical? What’s the answer to that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:05:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Travel now. Go out to dinner more. Make moments count. And it doesn’t always have to include money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah, I think\u00a0money aside, it’s got to be us first.\u00a0Money second. Because this is the foundation. This is why we’re together for 28 years plus.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:20)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0This has got to work\u00a0first before the money. That’s\u00a0becomes insignificant. It’s just numbers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How do you do it specifically?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think\u00a0I\u00a0need to–\u00a0what’s the word?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Say yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. Not give in, but compromise. And that’s what I need to do. I think I need to be a better husband and compromise and rebuild the foundation of this\u00a0relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:06:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. How would you do that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Be together more\u00a0often. Spend more quality time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:06)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Well, I think you spend a lot of time together, right? You go on hikes. You’re at home. You see each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:10)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Probably not enough. Because now we’re\u00a0singular. We’re our own separate islands\u00a0after work\u00a0for the most part.\u00a0Unless we have a function or\u00a0a date or something to do together.\u00a0So we have\u00a0to\u00a0build more time or reserve more time to do\u00a0more together things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:28)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Should we just do it right now? Because I feel like there’s a lot of talk.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:31)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:32)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0We’re here. Break it down for me. Sunday through Saturday, when do you want to spend more time together, and\u00a0what is the time? Let’s go one by one. Go ahead. Pick a day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Pick a day. Wednesday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:49)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What do you want to do on Wednesday?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Wednesday’s going to be\u00a0our designated\u00a0take the dogs to local park that doesn’t have any ticks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:07:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What’s your reaction?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:02)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I think that sounds great. I\u00a0love walking, and the dogs would enjoy going for a walk.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Awesome. Okay. Angela, your turn.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:12)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How about if we go back to the brewery on Tuesday night or try the Melting Pot? Let’s just try it. We never did fondue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yes, dear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Would you like to do that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Is that once a week?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Well try it this week and see how we feel about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Cool.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0All right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How do\u00a0you feel about that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:37)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Feel great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:08:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Cool.\u00a0You know what? I\u00a0really like that answer. I think sometimes we just have to say yes and our feelings change later. It’s like,\u00a0yes. In fact, I’ll tell you my philosophy. I think it is so rare for your partner to be genuinely excited by\u00a0something, especially the later on you are in\u00a0life. There’s a lot of just dreariness, life and kids and work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:08)\u00a0It’s difficult. Honestly, what a gift that your partner comes to you and they’re excited. Could be the blueberry coffee. Could be going to the Melting Pot. My general reaction is yes. Unless I’m\u00a0philosophically opposed to it or some crazy thing,\u00a0I’m just like, oh my God, it is so rare to\u00a0see your partner get excited\u00a0and lit up. I want to reward that. I want to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:34)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And I want to see that energy in\u00a0my relationship. And then she instinctively does the same for me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:41)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0That’s connective. So awesome. I love that. Okay. Brian, what would it take for you to feel safe enough to retire?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:09:58)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I don’t know. I want her to work or stop working\u00a0whenever she feels\u00a0as though she’s ready. I can continue to work forever\u00a0if that’s what it came down to. But\u00a0based\u00a0on the numbers, I’m very encouraged that maybe I don’t have to work till I’m 70. So\u00a0today I feel\u00a0a bit relieved, I think, and a little bit more comforted that I have a little bit of protection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:10:35)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The two of you have so many different options.\u00a0You two could retire at different times. That’s common. But I don’t think any of it happens if you’re not actually connected, starting right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:10:51)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:10:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You already mentioned, Brian, you’ve drifted apart, and you continue to drift apart as kids leave.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:10:56)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:10:57)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So unless that comes first\u00a0and that involves spending time together, which we just\u00a0mapped out. And that’s first\u00a0drop. It also means spending money meaningfully.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:08)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I agree.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:09)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0And I think actually getting to where Brian is suggesting something,\u00a0literally it could be we’re going to Wawa and we’re going to get two blueberry coffees.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:17)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:18)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Literally, it could be that. It\u00a0actually does not matter what\u00a0it is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:22)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You’re right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:23)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0You would be excited, right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:24)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I would be, yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:25)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I’m in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:26)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, absolutely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:27)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So getting those adventurous feelings back, and whether it’s joining a group together or trying some new stuff, that brings you way closer. And if it costs 10 bucks or 50 bucks, you will have millions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Right. Yeah, that feels good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:46)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0All right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:47)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What surprised you most during our conversation? Angela?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:11:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I have a little anxiety about, like you saying, us wearing mask and being characters because I feel like we’re very real with each other. So that does concern me. I have anxiety about that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:12:05)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay. Concern, anxiety. These are all things that I think are good to explore, not hide away from.\u00a0Run towards\u00a0those. Don’t run away.\u00a0Brian, what surprised you about our conversation?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:12:21)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Just peeling the layers away and getting down to what’s significant and what is insignificant. And we’ve determined that my concerns, they’re there. Just in the grand scheme of things, when we\u00a0zoom\u00a0globally, we see its insignificance. That all my angst, anger, rage is all for nothing when it comes down to it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:12:55)\u00a0Because 25,\u00a050 years from now,\u00a0whatever, it’ll be just like, why did you waste that time in the mental anguish on that? Just giving her more pain doesn’t get us anywhere.\u00a0I think you need to peel back some of these layers and get things a little closer or in touch with how you really feel and not just put the wall back up and just lash out, which is the easiest thing to go to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:29)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. How do you feel now versus when we first sat down to talk?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:33)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I feel a sense of relief. All right, we got this. We’re on the right path. Let’s shore things up. Let’s get them tighter, and then things will just fall into place.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0How about you, Angela?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:45)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0What I’m happiest about is I think when I approach Brian with ideas that all have more yeses now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:52)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Nice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:13:53)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah. So I think that’s a really big thing. And it’s part of us living too little of a life. But yeah, I see things going definitely in a positive way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:01)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I’d like to give a little bit of homework if I could.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:04)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So you suggested, Angela, the Melting Pot for,\u00a0I think, next week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:14)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:15)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Brian, I’d like for you to plan a date night within two weeks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:19)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0So it’s you two decide within two weeks, but Brian, it’s up to\u00a0you. It’s got to involve a little bit of money, and that’s it.\u00a0Keep it as simple as that and as broad as that. You do whatever you want,\u00a0whatever is meaningful for the two of you. But bring it up.\u00a0Same way that Angela does. She comes to you. She’s got a plan. Same thing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:14:41)\u00a0But what I want to do is balance a little bit more\u00a0of these conversations about\u00a0money, about life. I know, Angela, you’ve been doing a lot of tracking, and my hope is that you can zoom out and focus on the numbers that are meaningful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I talk a lot about getting in the 3-dollar questions versus the 30,000-dollar ones. These 30,000-dollar actually matter a\u00a0lot to you, especially because you want to retire earlier\u00a0and have the option to. So I would like for you to get tighter with your numbers. That means going through the book together.\u00a0I Will Teach You to Be Rich book and the Money for Couples book. Talking about that. You can have a book club. One of you can run one book, the other can run the other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:29)\u00a0I’d like for you to really absorb what happened today. There’s a lot of things, conversations about roles and masks and going together and going apart. It’s pretty deep. I want that North star.\u00a0What is our Rich Life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:42)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:43)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Do we have the ability to retire? Is one of us retiring? Are we going part-time? Are we doing the RV? Okay, let’s start there. Then we can figure out how to make the money work. In order to do that, you got to start with what you felt today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Mm-hmm.\u00a0Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Okay?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:55)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right. Thank you so much for coming. I appreciate you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Thank you, Ramit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Thank\u00a0you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Narration)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:16:00)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0Angela and Brian didn’t come here for tips on grocery budgeting. They came here because their life feels too small. Ironically, they have the money. If they wanted to retire in 5, 6, 7 years, they probably could. They could pay less on their mortgage.\u00a0They could redirect that money to investments. They could find an extra 500 bucks and accelerate their timeline.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:16:17)\u00a0That’s just math. But our conversation has not been about math. A lot of us hide behind complicated math because it’s easier to say, „I don’t understand how a solo\u00a0401(k)\u00a0works.” Than admitting you and your partner might not actually share the same\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0vision, or worse, you are afraid to even ask what theirs is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:16:41)\u00a0Yet until you create a shared vision, a shared goal, a shared why, you’re\u00a0going to\u00a0keep repeating the same old arguments, and you’re\u00a0going to\u00a0keep up the same performance of the sitcom dynamic, which honestly is very difficult to change after 30 years of marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:16:5)\u00a0And if you don’t change year by year by year, you drift a little bit further apart.\u00a0That’s the real cost here. I don’t care about granola bars, I care about time and intimacy. If they both decide to take a totally fresh look at their relationship with money and with each other, I actually think they could make dramatic changes in just a few months. It’ll be hard, really hard, but I think it’s worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:17:21)\u00a0Angela and Brian, I\u00a0want to\u00a0thank you for being so open, for coming on, having this vulnerable conversation, and being willing to stick with it for the entire time that we spoke. You’ve already proven that you can have these difficult conversations. Now my encouragement to you is that it is time to build something better for the next chapter of your life together.\u00a0Now let’s check out their follow-ups.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:17:44)\u00a0<\/span><b>Brian:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My biggest surprise, that our retirement projection is estimated close to 1.5 million. This number provides some comfort and relief as we prepare for retirement years from now.\u00a0The lesson I learned was that ultimately our relationship stability is far more important than our financial stability.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:18:01)\u00a0Another takeaway is the importance of open communication and shared financial goals. In addition to investing our money, we need to invest into time spent with each other.\u00a0Don’t sweat over the small stuff like fruit snacks. Although this conversation was difficult for me, it taught me to emphasize personal responsibility, mindset shifts, and the pursuit of a\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0beyond wealth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:18:21)\u00a0Specific changes I made thus far, I’m in the process of moving both Roth IRAs over to Vanguard. I’m striving to be more respectful and kind to my wife, to be a better husband by reducing negativity and open to sharing more life experiences and creating lasting memories. Much gratitude, Ramit.\u00a0Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:15:59)\u00a0<\/span><b>Angela:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our biggest surprise by far was at 72% of our expenses, fixed expenses. That’s crazy to me. I thought we were really doing good with fixed, but that’s just a crazy number. The other surprise was the way our relationship was portrayed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know it was just a snapshot of two hours, but I did have a lot of anxiety about it. But then I realized that that was not really us. We spend a lot of meaningful time together, maybe it’s just not going out to eat, and maybe that is actually not important.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My takeaway is I can retire in five years. Maybe I don’t have to wait 10 years. My other takeaway was maybe it’s not about the money. We spend money on things that are meaningful to us, but maybe we’re just simple people that just don’t spend a lot of money. I think we’re very conscious on the money that we spend and deliberate about it. So it’s not that we’re cheap. It’s just if I don’t want to spend money on something, I’m not going to spend money on it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I am setting up a meeting with my school to see if my pension, if I’m being charged for that. If I am, I am going to change that, so I’m no longer charged. And I decided to pump my $700 up to $1,000 per paid period.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So where am I getting my extra $600? I’m picking up extra shifts at the amusement park, which is my bonus job because I actually enjoy that. And if I can work and I enjoy it, and make a little bit of money, why not?\u00a0The only other thing that we’re considering is not paying extra on mortgage and instead just putting that on into our emergency fund so we can build that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:18:39)\u00a0<\/span><b>Ramit:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0I received this email from Angela and Brian. „We’re feeling stuck. We’ve been intentional, but it’s hard to tell if we’ve done enough or what comes next. At one point, we thought we wanted to retire in five years.\u00a0Now we realize we enjoy our work. We can take more vacations without giving it all up, but we still don’t know what the next step should be. We feel like we’ve done our homework. Now we’re just waiting for our next assignment.”<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:19:08)\u00a0First of all, I really appreciate the follow-up. I\u00a0want to\u00a0gently push back. I loved our conversation, and I am here to be your guide, but nobody can design your\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0but you.\u00a0Nobody can overcome your financial challenges but you, and nobody can live your\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0but you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:19:31)\u00a0I think that right now you are looking at this as an assignment, as if you are waiting for somebody to tell you what the next step is. But the entire point of the podcast, in fact, the entire point of 21 years of my work is that your\u00a0Rich Life\u00a0is yours.\u00a0I don’t think you need help with the difference between a traditional and a Roth IRA. If so, you can get it in my book.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:19:57)\u00a0I think you need to make decisions about what comes next, you, both of you together. And when you do that, you’re\u00a0going to\u00a0suddenly discover the difference in going passive, which is so common for so many of us to actively designing the kind of life you want.\u00a0Thank you, again. Please keep me updated, and I wish you both the best.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script>\n!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)\n{if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod?\nn.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};\nif(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';\nn.queue=();t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0;\nt.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)(0);\ns.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script',\n'https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/fbevents.js');\nfbq('init', '259290718675278');\nfbq('track', 'PageView');\n<\/script><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/219-angela-brian\/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=219-angela-brian\"> Nuoroda \u012f informacijos \u0161altin\u012f <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Angela (52) and Brian (52) have been together since they were teenagers and have raised four kids. Now as empty nesters, they\u2019re stuck in a sitcom-style standoff: Angela loves bargain shopping and dreams of traveling the world, but Brian clings to a decades-old belief that they need $1 million to retire and panics over every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":585,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[4337,4190,4271,4339,4338],"class_list":["post-2224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sekmes-istorijos","tag-cheap","tag-episode","tag-hes","tag-joy","tag-killing"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2224","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2224"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2224\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptas.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}